Last month, I travelled to Yunnan as a tourist and to reconnect with longtime friends that I’ve known since our Youth Expedition Project days in 2019.
It turned out to be more than just a trip for me, and instead a re-awakening of who I am, and what life is all about.
To some, travel is a form of escape and relaxation. To others, travel is an adventure to have excitement and inspiration in our life. To me, travel is an action I take to rejuvenate myself, to be reminded that the world is so much bigger, and that no matter where we go, no matter our differences in culture and nationality, we are all human. This recognition of our humanity is what drives me to keep going as a person.
When we first met Ms Ma, we couldn’t help but walk quickly towards her and give her a hug. Although some time had passed, it was as though she didn’t age at all. With that, everything that I had almost forgotten came back to me, including speaking in Mandarin instead of English.
Over here at Xundian County in Kunming, Yunnan, our job occupation didn’t matter. It also didn’t matter if we were deemed as successful in life or not. It was refreshing not having to share about the administrative details of our lives, but instead express our curiosity about one another as human beings, and instead talk about observations in culture, education and society. There was also a lot of nostalgia recounting the times we spent in the school doing cultural exchanges, teaching English, but also alot of emphasis on creating new memories together.
In some moments of silence, we found ourselves dancing along with other locals on a Friday evening, feeling a sense of community and freedom despite them living in a Communist country. Some did Zumba style, others did ballroom dancing or did their ethnic dance, holding hands and moving in a circle.
Otherwise, we were busy grilling our food up on a hilly range dotted with Mongolian tents and farm animals, at times coming out to fly kites or simply observing the way little kids ran around without a care in the world.
It was a reunion, but at the same integrating with fellow locals by just doing what they do, and embracing each moment.
On the way back to the town, we drove past a beautiful sunset, the sky in hues of pink and orange. My heart swelled up with emotion as the winds swept through my hair and face. I knew that this moment, with my friends and Ms Ma, will never come by again. Just like how when we re-visited the school earlier in the day, it was a Saturday and there was no one else in sight. The students that we’ve taught have since graduated and moved on to university, and even though we were in the same building, we knew that the moment has passed.
Beyond the backdrop, I imagined faint silhouettes of our interactions with the students, our younger selves only focused on doing our best, wondering how everyone else has been.
And such, is the beauty of life. Knowing the bittersweet feeling that comes with the knowledge that we will never be able to relive those moments again except to replay them in our mind. Yet, because we cherished that very moment at that point in time, that moment is an eternity on its own, with value having been created.
When we live our lives with no regret, giving our all to each encounter, it grows to become more than a moment, instead a cause we’ve made that leads to a ripple of effects, a flowering of goodness in our lives.
As we admired the sunset, I thought about how life is like that - everyday the sun rises, shines and then sets. Each day is unique and valuable on its own. And even at sunset, heading towards the end, it has its own beauty too.
Even though I knew that we would be leaving the next day, our farewell would be no more than a sunset, only for it to rise again and again in our hearts, an eternal source of hope and inspiration.
The most touching part has got to be when another friend of ours, who was on a separate travel tour, managed to meet up with us and Ms Ma at Songming county, the midpoint between Xundian and Kunming. Against all odds, despite differing schedules, we found ourselves in the same land, at the same point, the stars aligned, and reunited once more.
When we left and headed towards Lijiang, Ms Ma left us a Wechat message that had me tears:
“…every moment was a like a movie played out in my mind, and even though we were only here for a few days, we spent our time together as though we’ve always been together as friends. How I wished time could stop.”
Ah, that last sentence, wishing that time could stop. Isn’t it human to express our feelings as such, even though we all know that it is impossible to stop the hands of time? A woman in her 40s (a mother and teacher somemore) expressing herself so sincerely and honestly. Words so simple and pure that even as I write this now, tears well up in my eyes.
As a marketer working in a corporate job, it has always been about finessing our words, and making sure everything we say ties back to the central brand identity. We try to evoke a personality through words, visuals and framing, but this is antithetical to what being a human is all about.
A brand is man-made and carefully curated; a human being is multi-faceted, ever-growing, with our life states fluctuating in each moment.
In striving to be a better marketer, sometimes I find myself curating and self-censoring thoughts or the things I want to say. Over time, I was less able to express myself freely, and there have been comments from others that sometimes they don’t really know what I’m truly thinking about. I’m not surprised but often brushed those thoughts aside, thinking it is all part of growing up.
But growing up doesn’t mean we have to grow old in our hearts. Even at the halfway mark of her life, Ms Ma managed to be her true self, one that is considerate and yet expressive, and underpinning all of that is the gratitude and sincerity towards what we have as friends.
She also shared with us over supper about how she has been working with a personal trainer to keep herself fit, and after we leave, she would be heading back to town the following week to participating in a public speaking contest to train herself as a lecturer, beyond just being a schoolteacher.
As I listened to her share about her life, I thought about how in this urban jungle, sometimes anxiety gets the better of us. I worry about making the wrong move, not being more linear and intentional in the path I want to create for myself. But over here, she’s training herself in various aspects, she’s not afraid to take a rest where needed on weekends, she continues to work hard as a teacher, she has hopes and worries for the future, but nevertheless enjoys her pace of life in Yunnan.
Perhaps because the grass is already so green, the mountains so defined and solid, there wasn’t a need for her and other locals to venture beyond their homeland, but that doesnt stop them from still wanting to strive and excel in life.
Over here in Singapore, the comparison is endless - sometimes we try to build a facade on social media, hoping to construct a lifestyle that we enjoy, while also trying hard to block out the noise and judgment of others.
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I don’t know when will be the next time we will meet again, or if we ever will. The truth is, heading down to such a county is not an easy task. Despite technological advancements and new expressways opened up, the land in China is so big that it will always take more time than to cross from one point to another on our sunny island in Singapore. It is even tougher for her and her family to make it out of Yunnan to come to Singapore.
Nevertheless, I’ll continue to carry all of these conversations and realisations in my heart, sharing pieces of them on this journal of mine while drawing inspiration, reflection to make the life I have now even better.
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If you’ve followed me for awhile, you would realise that I’ve once again renamed my Substack. The perfectionist marketer in me wasn’t satisfied with my past branding attempts and it has been difficult trying to overcome my writer’s block thereafter. But at the heart of everything, I want to create because I want to connect with humanity, explore and understand what it means to be human. Instead of attempting to narrow down my topics and find my niche, I will expand my writing to talk about anything that comes to mind. If my direction shifts once again further down the road, well, that’s the whole point of being human and living life right?
Until then, I hope it won’t be too long a pause before my next post.